Waking Up at Night Confused After Divorce

Once you’ve retained an attorney, and you’ve started to process what to do (and what not to do) about your Alabama divorce or child custody case, you’re still going to encounter “information overload” challenges. Tug of War1

For instance, even after you’ve retained a lawyer, you may find yourself jolted awake at night with questions for him or her. You might see something on the news that concerns you about your case. You might leave a meeting or a hearing or feeling uncertain or confused about a particular point. Your ex-husband or wife may say or do things that make you frustrated/angry. And so forth. All these elements of confusion can create a kind of backlog, which can make it harder for you to concentrate on your life, relationships, finances, etc.

To get handle on these issues, as they arise, get in the habit of writing down your questions and concerns on a piece of paper or in a file that you keep for this purpose. When you get a chance to speak with your attorney, you can rattle off all of your concerns in a coherent, rapid fashion and thus “clear the queue” of these concerns without racking up tons of legal fees, wasting your attorney’s time or running yourself ragged.

This process will also help you feel more in control on a day-to-day basis. Instead of spending your time worrying (fruitlessly) about what to make of your ex-husband’s recently bizarre Facebook posts, just write down “ask Attorney Rose about Facebook posts,” and be comforted that you will get a good answer in short order. Once the brain knows that you’re “on it,” it will let go and allow you to concentrate on other things.
To that end, please call attorney Jennifer Rose at the Rose Law Firm right now to set up a consultation. As a Board Certified Alabama family law specialist, Jennifer Rose is a true expert in her field; she can give you the comprehensive guidance you need to succeed.

Running Out of “RAM” After Divorce?

In our last post about information overwhelm, as it pertains to the Alabama divorce and child custody investigation process, we talked about how working memory can be analogized to computer RAM. Any computer will only have a certain amount of random access memory (RAM). Man with umbrella in water

If you overload this memory, the computer will start to work slower, and the computer’s processes will break down. Likewise, if you overwhelm your own “RAM” with too many projects (or potential projects), your brain will be overcommitted, and it won’t work as well at identifying opportunities and making good logical judgments. Fortunately, you can use a variety of tools to “clear” your personal RAM and make research less exhausting.

First of all, you can go on what author Tim Ferriss called a “Low Information Diet.” Rather than drinking in as much information as you can about divorce or family law, restrict yourself. Have a plan – a goal for the research – and time bound that research.

Secondly, practice mindfulness meditation. More and more research now shows that people who engage in daily mindfulness practice are able to handle overwhelm, depression, and anxiety better, perhaps because meditation has powerful effects on the frontal cortex, the region in the brain that helps with executive function and organization.
Finally, if you don’t have a personal organization system, get one. Popular strategies include Steven Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and David Allen’s Getting Things Done. Find a system, commit to it, and learn it and apply it. Be more efficient and effective at what you do.

To get assistance with your legal needs, call attorney Jennifer Rose at the Rose Law Firm right now to set up a free and thorough case consultation with her.

How to Process Information After a Divorce

Why do we experience information overload about Alabama family law case (or anything for that matter)? Kick

Short answer: the human brain evolved to identify and process only limited amounts and types of information. Human beings evolved to live in small groups of 20 to 100 people. Nothing in our DNA, therefore, has prepared us for the onslaught of information available to us through the internet. Also, the divorce process is an artificial, non-intuitive process.
Yet recognizing this disconnect between what your brain was designed to do and what you’re asking it to do won’t stop information overload. Part of the problem is that thesubconscious brain can remember commitments that you’ve forgotten about consciously.

For instance, let’s say you find a great website that has tons of information about the Alabama divorce process. You spend a few hours reading it, and you find yourself enthralled, but then you close the website and “forget about it.” You consciously may forget, but your subconscious won’t, and so part of you will still be thinking that you need to read that content and take suggested actions.

In some ways your subconscious attention is like a computer’s RAM – you have limited mental space to give to various tasks and projects. So when you soak in too much information, you ultimately run out of attention and feel overwhelmed and overcommitted.

We’ll talk more about how to unravel the situation in our next post. For now, call attorney Jennifer Rose of the Rose Law Firm now to schedule a free consultation.

Finding Information Clarity After Divorce

Managing information overload with respect to an Alabama divorce has become much harder over the past decade, thanks the internet. Whether you found this blog through Google or through a referral, odds are very good that you’ve already spent hours online trying to understand Alabama divorce and custody laws that might apply to your situation.
Some of the information out there is nonsense or wrong.Tug of War2

Other information is way too “boiled down” or oversimplified to be of much use. And yet other information is far too legalistic and complex. You don’t want to have to parse complex case law to understand your next steps. Finally, a lot of information is very marketing oriented – law firms in Alabama and elsewhere compete to get attention by pumping out content on the web; the “slickest” materials don’t necessarily belong to the best law firms, and vice versa. Some great lawyers out there have pretty lousy websites with very little useful information for clients. So how can you make sense of all this chaos?

First of all, while you technically can represent yourself in your Alabama divorce case, that’s a bad idea. You would never operate on yourself or build your entire house from scratch, without any assistance. So, too, should you avoid dealing with your divorce by yourself.

Look for objective ways to tell firms apart. Consider using an attorney who is Board Certified in Alabama family law, like Jennifer Rose of the Rose Law Firm. A Board Certified attorney can call herself a specialist, because she has gone through rigorous and ongoing vetting and training.

To find a lawyer, take your time, and use every possible tool available to you — referrals, personal consultations, your own intuition, etc. Don’t feel bullied or pressured. At the same time, winnow your search, so you don’t have to consult with 15 different divorce law firms. Choose three to five based on careful research, and then go from there. We’ll talk more about how to tame information overwhelm with respect to your divorce in an upcoming post. Call attorney Rose now to set up a free consultation with her.