If you and your spouse recently split up a mixed marriage in Alabama, you may face annoying, hurtful comments from friends and relatives about the relationship.
Whether you are a Protestant man who married a Catholic woman or an African-American woman who married a Latino man, you and your spouse came from different backgrounds. You want the world to understand your situation for what it is: a separation between two people who, for whatever reason, just couldn’t make it work, as opposed to a broader statement about cultural, ethnic or religious politics.
So how can you deal with the “I told you so’s” in your life — the people who never believed in your marriage because of its mixed nature?
First and foremost, strive for compassion for yourself, for your spouse and for your children. Protect your feelings and your needs, and do your best to avoid hurtful talk.
Also, avoid trying to “change people’s minds” about the situation. Just like your relationship really isn’t any of their business, their absurd beliefs aren’t yours to change. To the extent that you can, treat people with compassion. Perhaps they grew up during a different era and/or got culturally brainwashed. They may never be able to understand your point of view and what you are going through.
Finally, get the help you need and deserve. Call a Board Certified family law specialist with the Rose Law Firm immediately for help with child custody, divorce negotiations, or other critical questions about your case.
Maybe you and your husband came from different cultural, ethnic or racial backgrounds. These different weren’t issues for you, but other problems in your marriage persisted and ultimately drove you apart.
Dissolving a marriage in any kind of context – whether you have kids or not; whether you have accumulated serious debt or not – is never easy. But the challenges that face mixed couples who split are especially daunting. In the next two posts, we are going to surface some of the peculiar challenges that mixed couples face during divorce and explore what you can do to make the process simpler.
Here are some of the issues you might face:
• The “I told so” problem – How to manage friends or family members who didn’t think your marriage would work out (or didn’t want it to) because of the cultural, religious or ethnic differences;
• Splitting up and redistributing your friends;
• Rebuilding your life and relationships.
No matter where you are in the journey, you want to equip yourself with tools, resources, and people to advocate aggressively for you and also to keep the process simple and likely to lead to a fair outcome. Contact Jennifer Rose, a Board Certified family law specialist, for a free consultation about your Alabama divorce.
In today’s final post on how to deal with information overload, as it pertains to Alabama divorces, child custody battles, and other family law questions, we will touch on something that’s deeply important: the difference between seeking optimal solutions and seeking “good enough” solutions to your divorce-related problems.
With nearly infinite information at your fingertips via the web, you may believe that, with enough research, you could find “best” solutions for questions about how to manage child custody; how to improve your body after divorce; how to find a new relationship; how to fix your relationships with your kids, etc.
Truth be told, you can make significant progress on all these different fronts. The problem is that this kind of optimization comes with a cost. You can never optimize everything in your life — or even in the domain of Alabama divorce. There are too many variables and too many different “sub projects.” If you try to choose the best path, instead of the “good enough” path, every time, you will wind up frozen and doing nothing. Information overload will permanently paralyze you.
Instead, think about your problems from a “good enough” perspective.
For instance, let’s say there is a big flood in your area. Do you need to leave the United States and head to Nepal to climb Mount Everest to avoid the flood? After all, Mount Everest is the highest point on Earth; it is probably the least likely point to be flooded. Obviously not — you just need to get “high enough” to avoid drowning and to protect your possessions. In fact, the very act of seeking the highest point on Earth would be destructive, because you would have to sacrifice so much (pointlessly) to make the trip.
Along those lines, whenever you confront information overload regarding your divorce or anything else, ask yourself: what’s “good enough”? What’s the minimum you need to do to achieve your goals and protect your interests? For instance, do you need to talk to every single Board Certified Alabama family law specialist in the state? Or will just one do?
For help achieving your goals safely, smartly and effectively, call the Rose Law Firm to schedule a free consultation with attorney Jennifer Rose right now.
Once you’ve retained an attorney, and you’ve started to process what to do (and what not to do) about your Alabama divorce or child custody case, you’re still going to encounter “information overload” challenges.
For instance, even after you’ve retained a lawyer, you may find yourself jolted awake at night with questions for him or her. You might see something on the news that concerns you about your case. You might leave a meeting or a hearing or feeling uncertain or confused about a particular point. Your ex-husband or wife may say or do things that make you frustrated/angry. And so forth. All these elements of confusion can create a kind of backlog, which can make it harder for you to concentrate on your life, relationships, finances, etc.
To get handle on these issues, as they arise, get in the habit of writing down your questions and concerns on a piece of paper or in a file that you keep for this purpose. When you get a chance to speak with your attorney, you can rattle off all of your concerns in a coherent, rapid fashion and thus “clear the queue” of these concerns without racking up tons of legal fees, wasting your attorney’s time or running yourself ragged.
This process will also help you feel more in control on a day-to-day basis. Instead of spending your time worrying (fruitlessly) about what to make of your ex-husband’s recently bizarre Facebook posts, just write down “ask Attorney Rose about Facebook posts,” and be comforted that you will get a good answer in short order. Once the brain knows that you’re “on it,” it will let go and allow you to concentrate on other things.
To that end, please call attorney Jennifer Rose at the Rose Law Firm right now to set up a consultation. As a Board Certified Alabama family law specialist, Jennifer Rose is a true expert in her field; she can give you the comprehensive guidance you need to succeed.