Pregnancy can bring couples together, but the experience is an emotionally complex one. It’s not uncommon for couples to split up while the wife is expecting. Of course, when this kind of divorce happens, the legal situation can get quite complex, very quickly.
Perhaps, for instance, your wife committed an act of infidelity; you may not even know who the father of the unborn child is. Or perhaps you and your spouse already have other children. Now, not only must you manage the implications of the pregnancy (along with the divorce), but you also need to come up with a plan to protect and support the other child/children.
Furthermore, one or both spouses may want to relocate after the divorce. This can further complicate the child rearing and visitation arrangement. Finally, the child may need special medical care.
Providing nourishment, love, and support during a child’s early years is challenging, even if your family is intact. Connect with the Rose Law Firm, LLP, for a detailed, compassionate consultation about your Alabama divorce and/or child custody questions. Attorney Jennifer Rose is Board Certified in Alabama Family Law.
Whether you and your spouse of many years decided to separate due to irreconcilable differences or do to the revelation of an affair; or whether you want to separate from your second wife or husband, you must be mindful of any adult children who might be devastated by the news.
In earlier posts, we addressed the complex problems that face parents who divorce while taking care of teenagers or young kids or babies. Splitting up when your kids are grown and out of the home is, in many respects, easier. But the process is not without its pitfalls.
When your kids live at home, you can explain to them what’s going on, and you can enjoy repeat opportunities for empathetic connection. If your kids no longer live with you — and you only see them on holidays or on mutual family vacations — you won’t have the same kind of intimate, regular contact. They may not get the chance to hear “your side” of the story, in-depth, for a long time, if ever. Here are tips to make the communication process more effective and simple:
- Make use of the telephone and of tools like Skype to stay in touch.
- To the extent possible, be empathetic if/when your kids have questions or offer feedback.
- Don’t expect to “fix” any family rifts with a single phone call or big conversation. Instead, treat the healing process as a process that will happen over time.
- Finally, if you haven’t yet retained an effective divorce attorney, consider connecting with the team here at the Rose Law Firm, LLP, for a confidential and free consultation.
Raising a teenager, like any other experience on Earth, can be a beautiful and life affirming experience. It’s exciting to watch “your baby” achieve at school and on the athletic field, develop lifelong friendships, and confront and overcome obstacles. It can be challenging as well. Watching your 16 year-old drive off by himself for the first time, for instance, is a uniquely terrifying experience. And teenagers and their parents don’t exactly have a reputation for “low drama” relationships.
If you’re going through a divorce or separation, while you have teenagers in the house, everyone in the family can find themselves out of sorts. How can you reestablish not just control of the household but also rapport with kids who might be alienated by the divorce (or by elements of the split)? What can you do to protect your kids (and yourself) from potential dangers, both physical and emotional? For instance, you might fear a “worst case scenario” in which your teenager, upset about your split, goes out drinking with friends and then gets behind the wheel and gets into a serious accident.
As difficult as the situation can be, strive to be compassionate both with your kids and with yourself. No one ever said that going through a divorce was easy. Likewise, no one ever said that raising teenagers was easy. You’re confronting two highly challenging situations at the same time, so go easy on yourself and easy on those around you.
In addition, retain an experienced, creditable family law attorney to help you work through the implications of your divorce and potential child custody battle. Turn to Jennifer Rose of the Rose Law Firm, LLP, for a confidential and free strategic consultation.
Dealing with an Alabama divorce or separation can be hugely complex and emotional, even if you have no children or other dependents. But when you have a large family consisting of three or more kids, it can be an epic saga that can have implications not just for you and for your kids but also for your children’s children.
In other words, the divorce has the potential to be a monumental intergenerational event.
To some extent, you can’t control the fallout. Divorce is a complicated, sometimes messy process. Even if you control your behavior, and your spouse controls his or her behavior, you cannot predict how the kids will react or what kind of behavior the separation will inspire.
Parents of large families intuitively appreciate the wisdom of 38 Special’s classic song, Hold on Loosey. The lyrics sagely warn: “Hold on loosely, but don’t let go; if you cling too tightly, you’re going to lose control.”
When you have multiple kids in the house – particularly young kids – you simply can’t control a lot of what happens in your household and outside of it. That said, you do need rules and structures to prevent worst-case scenarios. You may allow your kids’ rooms to be a mess, but you still make sure they don’t stick their fingers in electric sockets or cross the road without looking. You pay attention to the important “stuff” to avert disaster.
Likewise, you want to make sure that your divorce does not become a disaster or a big mess.
So what’s the “divorce preparation equivalent” of making sure your kids look both ways before they cross the street? Here’s the answer: find an exceptional lawyer – ideally some who’s Board Certified in family law in Alabama, like Jennifer Rose, so you can bring some order to your complex family law situation and feel slightly back in control.